The life of an 18 year old messianic jew

this sunday i will write on the next blog i plan to open and leave this one behind i hope you guys enjoyed it. also i hope you enjoy the next.

Test and an update on college

So yesterday I forgot to make a post but I received an A+ on my first government exam praise the lord. in other news i started Yom Kippur early. Now this might be my fault (definitely mine) but as an example as someone who's insecure i'll shall blame Troy Fuller thats right i'm calling him out.

Any hoo i have a surprise for you readers out there i'm posting a page from a possible story idea.

You may not understand some of the jokes or references but if you guys like the page i wrote let me know and i'll write some more. For those of you who do not know i like to very dramatic stories so this story is a bit of a departure for me its more of a dramedy. Enjoy

blood? This is my blood. I failed? No! I couldn't have failed, not now.

“you have failed Alan. Just like you always do.” the man spoke in a mocking tone.

The man walked up and placed the gun to Alan's forehead.

Was it all just a dream?... of course it was. However that didn't stop me from saying one of the most cliche phrases in the history of man right next to the phrase: a storm is coming.

“i don't like you!” Israel yelled as he walked over to the bathroom

Alan waited for him to close the bathroom door before offering a rebuttal.

“Jesus loves you.” Although sincere Alan spoke in a sarcastic manor.

Israel screamed from bathroom.

Luckily for me, my college roommate happens to be gay.

“Your not Scott Pilgrim!...And I'm not gay!” Israel yelled from inside the bathroom.

Okay hes not gay but he is Jewish and an ultra orthodox Jew at that. He hates every fiber of my being.

Alan found his thoughts interrupted when frantic pounding emitted from his door.

“Alan! Alan! Open the door quickly!” josh screamed in a frantic manor his voice muffled because of the door.

Alan waited a few seconds before he replied

“What is it Josh?” Alan replied in a somewhat annoyed manor.

“They posted the scores from the midterms!” Josh replied

It was at that moment that josh had forgotten that the door to Alan's room opened outward and not inward. Alan swung the door open while Josh was still in mid sentence and laid him flat on the ground.

Alan sprinted towards the billboards a goofy smile gleamed from his face.

Today is the day I break the constant C's I have been getting in my math class. Today is the day!

Alan was full of hope as he reached the board, and in a frantic manor scanned the pages for his name. His name was not in the 90's but that was okay perhaps in the 80's. Not there either... Alan's heart fell when he thought he'd might find his name in the 70's but it wasn't in the 70's it was in the 60's.

“Well at least its not a C.” josh spoke in a somewhat sarcastic manor.

...things get better

Like a fool i have been trying to go it alone. trying to focus on using God for my main source for venting which is a good thing but i took out of proportion. in any case things feel somewhat better.

Today i turned in my narrative essay and took my first exam. fingers crossed that i did good.

I get home and the greatest thing happens i see fig newtons. for those of you who do not know fig newtons is one of three things i simply go crazy for the to being beef jerky and nacho cheese dorittos. on top of that i got my next issue of game informer. yay me in celebration i will...eat fig newtons

The feeling of defeat and narrative essay final draft

Have you ever had a week of battles that you were losing and the first day of the next week begins you know that day is gonna have a big battle. you tell yourself this week is going to be good i can win this... instead theirs defeat and you have that feeling going into the next day. Just defeat how is the week gonna be know that you've lost. last week i didn't read my bible very much it was filled with problems. yesterday felt like a breaking point not too sure what that means yet...

all thats left right now is defeat. in any case heres the final draft of my essay any advice you one random reader from new Zealand have for me please share.

A history of writing

I remembered typing in the final sentence of my latest story onto my computer. I felt a sense of accomplishment. As I sat on my bedroom chair and listened to the sound of the printer shoot out pages of my story. I thought about how I came to this place in my writing career.

Fanfiction.net was a site I had been introduced to by my older sister, it inspired me to write my very first story which was, of course, a fan fiction and written in script form. It was based on an animated series which was quite popular at the time. It is always an interesting thing to look back at ones original story because it tends to be the worst which was true in my case.

I posted my story on the website but never received any feed back never the less I continued on this cycle for several years. Each story had a different plot but were poorly written. It was not until I reached a roadblock that I stopped writing. I ran out of ideas, or so I thought. I did not know that I was trapped within the confined spaces of my own lack of skill and/or knowledge. I started to regret the idea of writing. I wanted to retire from writing at the age of thirteen.

All seemed hopeless for my so-called writing career till I met a man named Troy Fuller. In the middle of one of our many conversations he told me about his own stories, which he wrote. He told me about one that he had written over the course of ten years but did not finish. In my young mind I could not even fathom the idea of working on a story for so long. Troy asked me if I had ever written any stories of my own. I told him that I did and he asked me to bring him one.

In my mind, when I delivered the story, it was a masterpiece that should be published even though it was only fan-fiction. I was shocked, to say the least, when I received my first harsh criticism. It went without saying that, even though he was right on every level, I was insulted. It was that very reason why I started to write again. The problem persisted that I still did not know what to write about. When I told Troy about this he suggested that I read a book. To me, the idea of reading a book irritated me to no end. More than anything though, I wanted to be a better writer. If reading a book meant that it would help me, then I was willing to do so. The first book I would read was a Star Wars book which, at the time, I was quite into. I could not recall the exact name of the book, but I could tell you that it inspired me to write my first semi-original story on the computer. When I started to write on the computer I ran into another problem. I did not know how to type or what design that should be used.

For my first typed story, I would once again use a script format that I modified to be closer to the proper format or, at least, to what I believed to be the proper format. It took me about 5 months to write out a few chapters of my first action story. I delivered it to my friend Troy, who told me it was good, but then proceeded to point out all the flaws. His criticism did not discourage. Instead it encouraged me to go and read some more books in order to get better.

During my second attempt to become a better writer, I came across Edgar Allen Poe and his dramatic form of writing. It opened my eyes to a new genre and a plethora of ideas which I just had to write down. The next story I gave Troy was completely original and received less criticism than my last story. He encouraged me to read The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck, followed by The Jungle by Upton Sinclair, Dante's Divine Comedy and various other writers who opened my eyes to the different forms of dramatic writing that can be done.

It would take several years before I could increase my skill when it came to design. When I turned in my latest story it was in the proper format most writers use. Even though I still receive criticism, I have found that over the years, I had become my worst critic. I will now throw away complete stories if I find too many problems with the characters and continuity of the story.

Therefore I sat on my desk chair and remembered the long and tiresome road I had to take to get to where I am today. Once the printer finished, I picked up my story and started to read through it. I realized what I once thought was good, was not very so good. So I threw out the entire story and looked at my computer screen. I skimmed through the pages to see if I could fix the problem. I instead ended up running into more issues. I realized that I still have much to learn, but hoped that one day my writing experiences could be used as inspiration for other young writers, like myself to keep on going.

Narrative Essay rough draft

Have you ever wanted to talk about something that you couldn't get off your mind. Yet you know that most people wouldn't understand. hmmmmmmmmm anyways i'm probably just projecting.

So heres my rough draft for my narrative essay. Yes it has bad punctuation but like i said rough draft.

I remembered typing in the final sentence of my latest story. It gave me a sense of accomplishment. I sat on my bedroom chair and listened to the sound of the printer shoot out pages of my story. I started to think about how I got to this place in my writing career.

Fanfiction.net was a site I had been introduced to, its what inspired me write my very first story, which was of course a fan fiction and written in script form. It was based on an animated series which was quite popular at the time. It is always an interesting thing to look back at your first story because it tends to be the worst which was true in my case. To me however it was the greatest thing since sliced bread.

I posted my story on the internet but never got feed back and so I continued on this cycle for several years. Each story may have had a different plot but each were written in a terrible manor. It was not until I reached a roadblock that I started to give up on writing. I had run out of ideas or so I thought I had no idea that I had trapped myself within the confined spaces of my own skill. I started to give up on the idea of writing, I wanted to retire at the age of thirteen no less.

Just when I was about ready to give up I met a man named Troy Fuller. In the middle of one of our many conversations he told me about his own stories which he had wrote. I was even told about one that he had not finished but had been working on for close to a decade. In my young mind I could not even fathom the idea of working on a story for so long. It did not take very long for him to ask me if I wrote my own stories. Once I told him that I did he asked me to bring him one.

In my mind when I delivered the story I thought it was a masterpiece that should be published even though it was only fan-fiction. I was shocked to say the least when I got my first harsh criticism. It goes without saying that even though he was right on every level I was insulted. It it was that very reason why I started up writing again. A problem persisted though I still had no idea what to write about. When I told my good friend Troy about this he suggested I read a book, but for me the idea of reading a book appalled me to no end. More than anything however I wanted to get better at writing and if reading a book meant that would happen than I would do so. The first book I would end up reading was a star wars book, which at the time I was quite into. I can not quite recall the name of the book but I can tell you that it inspired me to write my first semi-original story on the computer. When I started writing on the computer I ran into another problem I had no idea how to type or the design that should be used.

For my first typed story I would once again use a script format that I had modified to be closer to the proper format, or at least to what I believed to be the proper format. It took me about 5 months to write out a few chapters of my first action story. I delivered it to my friend Troy who told me it was better, but then proceeded to point out all the flaws. His criticism did not discourage me it instead encouraged me to go read some more in order to get better.

During my escapade to become a better writer I came across Edgar Allen Poe and his dramatic form of writing. It opened my eyes to a new genre and a plethora of ideas which I just had to get written down. The next story I gave Troy was completely original and received less criticism than the last story. He than encouraged me to read The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck, followed by The Jungle, Dante's Divine comedy and various other writers who opened my eyes to the different forms of writing that can be done with a drama.

I would take several years before I honed my skill when it came to design, but when I turned in my latest story it was in the proper format most writers used and it was a dramatic story. Even though I still received criticism I found that over the years I had become my most harsh critic. I would now throw away complete stories if I found to many problems with the plot, characters and most important of all the continuity.

So I sat on my desk chair and remembered the long and tiresome road I had to take to get to where I was today. Once the printer finished I picked up the story and started to read through it. I realize what I once thought was good was once again not very good up at all. So I throw out the entire story and look to my computer screen. I skim through the pages to see if I can fix the problems but end up running into more into more issues. I press the backspace key and as the once word filled pages begin to empty, I realize that I still have much to learn but hoped one day that my writing could be used as inspiration for young writers.

I"M ALIVE!

Speech went great praise the lord. just i'd let everyone know.

Its the end of the world!

As we know it and i do not feel fine. i say its the end of the world because this thursday i give a speech in front of my entire class. yeah pray for me please.

College, Illness, and Homework oh my!

So its been a long time since i wrote anythnig and now is as good a time as any.

the week started off with me having a near nervous breakdown on monday. I was nausious and dizzy, and I had a headache among other things. why was i nervous because i started college this week.

It was not until i went tot take a shower that i broke down crying my eyes for God to help me out. Right after i get out of the sower i felt like a million bucks. Praise the lord that all i can say.

So tuesday arrives i feel good and i start school. i get my backpack filled with my lunch and the needed materials. the whole day was rather easy i just sat in class and listened to the syllabus be explained.

wednesday arrives i get sick oh happy day thats just what i needed the week of school. I put up with it anyways and doo all my homework for thursday.

thursday arrives i'm still sick great just what i need a runny nose in class and only a few tissues to get me through the day. despite all this things go great. in my english class apparently i was the only smart one and baught my school books for english class. so everybody except me got dedducted points i on the other hand got extra credit.

Oh yeah i could tell everyone hated me.

speech class i had to listen to malcolm x and in government i was taught the roots of our government system. perhaps i'll learn why everything TAKES SO LONG!.

in any case school is going good i like my teachers and i learned to loathe unlotioned tissues!. heres hoping next week i'm healthy.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

So my family has come to visit this whole week my brother from another state. (forgot how to spell it so i wont bother.) my grandmother and aunt libby are here as well. things have been quite busy since they've arrived and i'm lucky i have this time to write at all. I quite enjoy them being here its just tiresome. But anyways just thought i'd share a quick random fact about myself.

I am incredibly impatient. When i put my mind to something that I want or want to do i get anxious and want to get it done right away it could be a toothbrush anything. Its not a good thing and lord willing i'll grow out of it.

Trust me

Trust is the biggest part of being a Christian its also one of the hardest.

Speaking for myself included why is it so hard for believers or all denominations to trust God unconditionally. I tend to think its because we cant see what God is doing in the background of our own lives. we sometimes see it in others and (speaking for myself) get jealous. We ask why doesn't God provide for me? or why doesn't God do something. or in some cases blame our selfs and degrade our selfs. I always found it interesting that Muslims and Buddhists most of the time will trust their fake God and yet we cant trust the one true God.

We may at first trust God saying "he'll come through for us." but when really bad things tend to happen we forget our trust completely and panic. Something i'm guilty of almost all the time (Lord help me to trust you!) i sometimes shout that in my head in a vain hope that he'll poof in front of me and say "Aaron i'm here, i'll take care of you don't worry."

It may not verbally happen but we know in the back of our head and in the bible that he will.

Just thought i'd share hope you guys get encouraged by this. all trust, faith, and glory belongs to God.

Praise the lord

Just yesterday i went to orientation it was interesting to say the least. It was not bad just not good either. To say it bluntly it was boring as could be. but after words i got home and i was ready to register for classes when i got home but could not figure it out. so i waited for my sister who helped me that night.

But a problem occurred several errors and a few other things. It would not let me register for 2 classes that i wanted. it drove me crazy to say the least. In the back of my mind i knew to just calm down and trust God. instead i got upset and angered and i'm not the greatest person to be around when i'm angry.

Oh Lord Why Do I Have Such A Hard Time Trusting You!

but i digress.

so this morning i wake up calm and once again trusting God. At least for now. i call the school to help and in five minutes its all fixed and i get my classes at the times i wanted them.

PRAISE THE LORD!

It also makes me realize i'm now entering a brand new phase in my life and i'm scared as heck. but i know that if just trust God i'll make it through. i just have to trust God. wont be an easy task for me.

Test results

Just a few hours ago i got the results from my test so here they are.

Reading 92%

Sentence skills 92%

Math 51%

Elementary Algebra 31%

Essay 5 (90%)

I can take college level reading courses and English while with math and algebra i have to take remedial which was expected. Thank the lord i did as well as i did also thank you to anyone who prayed for me and helped me with school. Now its off to college!

P.S. on a recent post i was talking about a pastor who said some stupid things i need to clarify that it wasn't the pastor but his elders. just thought i'd let everyone know.

Big decision

i have something important to announce. I have decided to not shave and grow a beard and mustache to see what it looks like....yeah. just thought i'd share. lol.

I"M ALIVE!!!!!

I haven't written in a long time so i thought i'd let everyone know i'm alive and well for that matter. the reason I have not been writing anything is because nothing has been happening. But just a few seconds ago i thought hey that'll be good to write about.

First however I think I should let everyone know that just yesterday I took the college entrance exam. It went well i think the English and reading comprehension was easy. The Math however was the hardest. At the end of the day i realized God was testing me in my faith with and regretfully i failed miserably. i was panicking left and right so that left me thinking to myself. How will I be able to to trust God for all the big things and events that are coming if i cant trust him to help me out with a test you cant fail. It lets me know i still got a long way to go.

In any case what i really wanted to talk about was something a "friend of mine El Paso said their pastor said"

What the Pastor said was

"if you watch Oprah your in the church of Satan and not God."

Now its pretty much common knowledge she has rebuked God and Jesus. but to say to someone your in the church of Satan for watching her is appalling. Now if your just sharing why you don't watch Oprah thats fine.

So think about this. If what this pastor says is true then were all in the church of Satan.

How do we know that apple wasn't grown in the field of a satanist. how about the steaks we eat or eggs. that company or market could support gay marriage. Its a known fact Ford supports gays. we better not buy ford, Pepsi is a supporter of Muslims i guess we shouldn't drink Pepsi. The Apartment complex i live in is run by a gay guy i guess i shouldn't live here. my clothes were made by Buddhist's in china.

What i'm trying to say is what he said is appalling and impossible to live by. we would have to live in the desert or forest or whatever environment your at, grow our own food, build our own houses and hope we survive.

In any case this is all my opinion if I offended any i appologize. if you don't eat watch or buy a product because of their beliefs thats fine. all i'm saying is don't tell everybody they are in the church of Satan for it.

the worst kind of torture/my dads birthday

So on Tuesday i went to my community college to register. It doesn't take long but they tell us to go to the financial aid office. so we do that they then tell us to go talk to a counselor. so me and my dad go sit down in the waiting room. thats when it happens. i had to endure the movie twilight.

TWILIGHT! a movie where vampire sparkle in the sun! why!

in any case i managed to pull through.

just yesterday my father had his 51st birthday. yay! we went bowling with my (almost) entire family. we all had a great time...yeah ... nothing else to say.

Its all so clear!

Perhaps its because I've been talking to God much more than i used to and reading for that matter.

as of late things have started to seem far more clear than they used to be. so because of this i thought i'd challenge all my readers myself included, to stop perceiving people by their pasts and start perceiving them by the way they are now.

O_O wow just...wow

So i spent most of my fourth of July with my sister and her boyfriend Steve. i had a good time and after we dropped my sister off at work i decided to go with Steve to set of fireworks.

so that not were setting off all these fireworks having a good time then suddenly we hit a slew of dud fireworks. it was about five fireworks that ended up just blowing up causing all of us to run like heck.

...yeah so anyways just thought i'd share that.

Happy fourth of July!

This is preemptive but tomorrow i'm going to be really busy stuffing my face full of food.

First off i'd thought i'd say Happy fourth of July to all readers of this blog.

Second Anthony you'd better eat some food.

Third or all i thought i'd share what my plans are.

Were going to pick up my sister Sarah and her demon of a daughter Lily, hopefully my Sister Joanna will show up with her boyfriend Steve. and we'll stuff our faces full of food. good times.

If any readers want to share what your doing this weekend please feel free to do so.

also in the next couple of days i'll blog more about my family, come to think of it however i'm not to sure what else their is to say.

free hair cuts (not the best idea)

My Mother meant well. really she did.

just a few days ago my mother convinced me to get a free hair cut at the grand opening of regency. it started off well they shampooed my hair and then wrapped a towel around my head. (I'm secure enough in my masculinity to have a towel wrapped around my head.) they then send me to the person who will do my hair. its a blond ditsy young lady whose face looked like plastic. the moment i sat in the chair i was not greeted with the same confidence, most hair stylists seem to have. she had no idea what size blade to use on my hair. here is a quick example of how it went.

"ID like a 2 on the top and one the side please." Aaron asked in a polite manor.

The hairstylists eyes glazed over and she responded.

"What do you mean." the hairstylist responded.

End example

So the entire time i could not relax like i normally do during a haircut. also she did not cut my hair the proper size.

So now my hair looks like that of a marine.

My mother meant well. Really she did.

What are you afraid of?

What is the thing you fear most?

It could be something physical or spiritual. Everyone who is currently living has something different their afraid of.

for this post i'll share some of my fears and if you readers want top share your fears please do so.

I have fear of being alone. not the left in a room by myself alone, but being alone spiritually and not having a single person to share my emotions with, or life for that matter.

I have a Fear of gaining weight in fact fear is not the right word to use... petrified thats a better word. (I'll elaborate more on this at a later time.)

I'm also afraid of not being able to stand up for what i believe to be Gods will for my life.

I also happen to be afraid of spiders and taking risks.

So those are some of my worst fears. if any readers want to share or relate please feel free to do so.

I hate American Airlines!

Hate isnt the word i should use perhaps loathe. yes loathe is much better.

So yesturday i'm sitting in the plane, its on the runway. for thirty minutes nothing happens, next the captain says "sorry everyone but the tower is telling us to not take off a storm is coming."

so the plane sits on the runway for an hour and a half. after that the plane takes off.

you would think whew! smooth sailing from here. WRONG!

the captain soon told everyone we have to take a longer route to dallas.

wait it gets worse.

we arive in dallas but guess what, we cant land because the airport has shut down all air traffic and we dont have enough gas so we have to fly to Oklahoma city...yeah

it takes 30 minutes to fill up on gas then leave to dallas. thankfully we get to land only now their is a delay to get to the gate. at this point every passenger is ready to kill the pilot myself included despite the fact the poor man is just doing his job.

six hours! thats how long it took to get to dallas. what was originaly suposed to be 3 hours, and all they do to make up for their mistake is a granola bar. the only good that came out of this was that i may have convinced a very nice lady who was sitting next to me and happens to live in philly to go check out beth emmanuel. i gave her the adress and phone number. heres hoping she goes.

after all that i obviously missed my connecting flight. so i go get put on the standby list and thankfully get on the plane. the rest is history.

P.s. there is alot of bad punctuation mainly because i'm lazy. ^_^

P.S.S. when i originally posted this i completely forgot to mention some of the blessings God did for me during this whole fiasco. The nice lady who sat next to me was nice enough to let me borrow her phone twice, including some random person waiting in a lobby, also God alowed my name to be called when i was on the standby list.

My Family Pt1

Part of being able to relate to someone (in my opinion) is learning about their family.

My family is Mexican. for those who do not know mexicans are are very family oriented. Family is everything to us. I personally am not that family oriented however I do love my family. also most mexican families or big. I am part of a 7 person family.

Mother (Edna) age 48

Father (Carlos) age 50

Esther age 30

Sarah age 29

Andrew age 27

Joanna age 21

Aaron (me) age 18

My brother Andrew left home at age 24 (i think) married a woman name Olivia. He is currently living in Mississippi with his wife daughter Elizabeth, and son named David.

My sister Sarah lives in El paso with her daughter Lily

My sister Joanna lives on her own.

My sister Esther still lives with me my mom and dad.

i wish i had time to say more but i don't so i must go busy busy busy.

Introduction and what not

Well whats there to say? I'm 17 years old, i'm insecure, cynical, sarcastic, and rebellious. I guess you could say i'm exactly like every teenager out there. So why start a blog? To be honest when I figure that out i'll let all (insert # of followers here) of my followers know. However part of me hopes that this blog will help fellow teenage messianic jews with there walk, or rather give you guys something to relate to. Hopefully that will be the case. Please look forward to many more posts.